An update and the cancer diagnosis

 It’s been a week since I finished my first round of chemo. I’m feeling pretty good. Mostly just more tired than usual and have also had chemo brain (brain fog) on a few occasions, which I really dislike. I hate not feeling like myself. I’m trying to take advantage of feeling good, because I’m sure with each round the symptoms will become worse. The mental toll is still the hardest part for me. One moment I’m happy and feeling good and then the next I’m sad and crying and just wanting my old life back. My poor therapist has go over the same coping tools each time I see her! And poor Brandon has to talk me down way too often lately. I will start the next round on March 15 and do just like last time….Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and then a 3 week break.  We have been well taken care of by our family, friends and neighbors! They’ve been bringing meals and doing such kind acts of service. We are truly so thankful.

A few people have asked how I even knew something was wrong. And I don’t blame them because that’s always what I want to know too! Because you know…I want to make sure I don’t have those same symptoms;) nobody wants to hear that they have the scary C word. It still doesn’t seem like it’s real to me. I wonder if it ever will? 

I’ll start at the beginning. 

Sometime maybe in September 2022 I noticed I had a shortness of breath. It wasn’t horrible but it was a pretty abrupt change. I would run up the stairs and then not be able to talk for a few minutes  because I was so winded. I couldn’t carry on a conversation on the phone while walking the dog. One day when I was substituting, a kid (with autism) escaped and ran clear down the long hallway and down the stairs. I was the closest to him so I took off after him. When I finally got to him it was not good! I was huffing and puffing like the most out of shape person ever.  (And I’m

probably only like the 10th most out of shape person ever!) in all seriousness, I should exercise more! I ran it by my doc maybe a month or so later  at a check up. She felt I had probably had asymptomatic Covid and was having long lasting Covid effects that were affecting my breathing. She didn’t hear anything alarming when she listened to my lungs. In addition sometimes my lungs would burn a little when I was breathing heavy. It was all just annoying, but not affecting my day to day living at all. 

In November I found a lump in my breast. I went to my regularly scheduled mammogram a couple of weeks later. Where I found out they wouldn’t complete it because I had found a lump. So they had me call the diagnostic mammogram clinic to make an appt. They didn’t have any appointments for a whole month! Which is ridiculous to me. You’re already on edge and then it’s more waiting… 

The week before Christmas I went to the dermatologist. I had a lump on my left back that was sore to the touch. And also a growth that felt like a pimple on my head that wouldn’t go away and it was tender too. The dr felt like they were for sure both fine. Probably lipomas. (Which run in my family so I figured he was right) I also had him check the breast lump and he thought it also felt like a lipoma. He removed the back one and the one on my head (and sent them off to be tested and told us they would let us know results)…and we had a Merry Christmas…not worrying about anything! 

I went in for the diagnostic mammogram the day the kids went back to school after Christmas break. I truly felt I would go in they would check it and say…you’re all good. See you next year. However they found 2 more lumps (3 altogether) and decided to biopsy them all right then. This is when the panic set in. I was all alone on that table with a doc who didn’t have great bedside manner telling me how weird shaped they were etc etc…I was literally sick and the biopsies hurt. I got through it and then we waited….

Results were back in about 4 days. So on January 9, 2023 we found out it was Neuroendocrine Tumors. They weren’t sure where they started. We were heartbroken. So lost and alone. Not wanting to share the news with anyone until we had more details. Within a couple of days we had been assigned a Nurse Navigator at the IMC Oncology Unit who would coordinate the next steps.  There were doctors there that specialized in this type of cancer. The next step was to get a PT scan to see if there were more tumors in my body and to find out where it originated. We jumped through insurance hoops and waited some more for them to approve the scan. I can’t remember the exact timing of it all but we got a call back from the dermatologist almost a month after we saw him telling us that it took awhile for the results to come back…but that they were both cancerous growths…neuroendocrine tumors. Another heart sinking moment. I knew right then…everything had come together, that it had started in my lungs and that would explain the breathlessness. The scan happened soon after and then the 1st meeting with the Dr who was taking my case. I was right…it had originated in my lungs and spread through the blood to the skin (which is an organ as well) and formed tumors. The scan showed several throughout my body, some just under the skin that can be felt, some a little deeper.

So there you go…the diagnosis. Also this is a really depressing post!! Sorry for that. I’m grateful to be fighting it now. It sure took a long time to figure out what was going on and get a plan in place. I’m glad that’s behind us. 

Side note…some people have said they have tried to comment on my blog posts and can’t login…guess what I can’t either!!?? So weird. Only 3 people have been successful at it (Hi Becky, Caeli and Chelley)  and they’re super smart! No comments needed though.  Just thanks for caring and for praying and for sending good thoughts and love our way. We feel it all and we still NEED it all.